You are at a party, bored, and drunk. What should you do now? Duh! Drunk Text. Some of you are thinking this sounds like a terrible idea, but if done correctly drunk texting can be the most fun a girl can have using her two index fingers! It is one of my favorite recreational hobbies. Nothing to be ashamed of and just like letter writing has the same type of etiquette. Here are a few tips and tricks.
Always send drunk texts to someone who would want to hear from you. Sending an angry rant to your ex may seem like a great idea, but she will not be excited to respond to being called a bitch. Also, don’t send mean things to enemies. You are not going to solve any kinds of problems with your rant about their abhorrent behavior and terrible breath. Instead, send messages to people you like. Friends don’t mind hearing that you are three sheets to the wind and that you really now understand why, Salem, from Sabrina the Teenage Witch, was secretly your high school crush. They will be happy to hear from you.
Avoid Declarations of Love. You are completely obliterated at a party and you know that this is finally the time to tell your co-worker you are in love with them. Wrong. You may have the liquid courage to finally pronounce your feelings, but that doesn’t mean that 3 am is the right time to do it. If you have a sexting buddy (and really who doesn’t?) feel free to send them lascivious things as much as possible. But avoid at all cost telling someone you love them. If you do, make sure to apologize in the morning. Even if you do love them, a 4 am text with the word love spelled luv is not the right way to declare it.
Don’t do it while Driving! Don’t drive drunk! And if you are driving home after drinking anything; don’t text! No discussion about why Michele Obama would totally be your best friend is worth getting in a car wreck. Just don’t do it. Wait til you are home and then say the stupidest things you can think about.
Don’t text your parents. Just don’t! Why would they need to know you are drunk? Also, family is an intense animal that you don’t need to poke with a drunk stick. Avoid drunk texting your parents at all costs.
Silly things are always appreciated. The best-drunk texts are the ones that are appreciative or completely ridiculous. Also, misspelling everything is awesome! With every gr8 or greeat you are telling your text recipient that you are completely plastered. Also, I love to tell my friends how much I appreciate/ love them. They will find it great and silly. You can also really start to talk about things that you have been afraid to say, like how much you love The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It’s time to stop judging yourself and start texting!
So have your drinks, break out your iphone, and go to town.
Learn To Love To Party 